by Frank | Oct 11, 2021 | Awareness, Mindful, Mindless
“You’re not changing sides on me. Are you buddy?” said a close friend over lunch one day. The strong spice of Pad Thai filled the air as I contemplated my response.
To me, I am the same person who has been voicing similar thoughts and opinions for years.”
“I don’t see it that way…” and paused for a breath before continuing. Below is a summary.
I must admit my sadness in watching so many friends become estranged over vaccines “facts” and “identities.”
I love all my friends and I deeply respect their choices, although, at times, we may not agree.
My conservative friends demand “personal liberty”and my liberal friends demand “personal responsibility.” To me, it seems the political upheaval and identity and arguments have replaced civil discourse.
It is rare when science and policy must unfolded at the same time. Science is often slow and lumbering as it unfolds. Sure, there are “facts” and overtime these may be reinterpreted in the light of new information or flawed experiments or numerous other issues; and these may seem conflicting as the scientific methods seek to “observe and analysis” toward an understanding of the current “truth.” And of course, all scientist, all humans, are bias, and that is why there is a peer review process; although it too suffers from group-think.
Policy is a political process. It may consider science, as well as, the complexities of a stable society, supporting a mostly private health system, and safety of the population. This too is conducted by humans, it is flawed and biased; even without the issue of nefarious intentions.
Policy is not science; and all science can do is inform. Science is not all the process, it’s just part-of.
The political polarization of the last decades has now become so unproductive and dysfunctional, it impairs the productive dialogue on deeply important issues. Let’s face it – both sides are at fault; and there is plenty of blame on both sides.
And these decades has lead to very low public trust across the board; and deep suspicion of “the other side.”
I’m mindfully sad over my friends and their pain, as well as the state of our country.
“I continued to listen to my friend,” even though, we didn’t completely agree on all the details.
And I realized that “the issue” was not “the issue;” the issues was years of disappointments and disillusionments and resentments and griefs and frustrations and angers all mixed together into a ball of emotions.
And I loved him deeply and still do; and hope to have lunch again soon; and keep the dialogue going. I think this time, it’s my treat; maybe BBQ.
So, instead of making your friends your new enemies, please consider spending time listening to their concerns and remember it’s not just their groups version of facts: there is much more going on.
Realize “the issue” has a deeper roots and if we are ever to truly know another and love them in all their conflicting parts too, we must listen.
by Sensei | Oct 2, 2021 | Awareness, Journey, Mindless
Today, two experiences – similar places, very difference responses.
The first was receptionist was difficult and nitpicking; and while staying in the Moment, the Now, I was able to remain considerate, the experience took hours for a 10-minute endeavor.
The second, the receptionist was kind and upbeat; and while staying in the Moment, the Now, I was able to remain considerate, the experience took minutes for a 20-minute endeavor.
Likely, the first person was having a bad day, or the boss was critical, or something; and the second person was having a good day.
I was the recipient of both emotional states.
As the saying goes: “night and day.”
While I was “zen” during both experiences, I left the first bothered and the second uplifted.
The reality is that neither experience had anything to do with me: it flowed from their current emotional states.
In short, it was not about me!
Although, it was easy to create an internal narrative of an offensive encounter vs an amazing encounter.
This, my friends, is the greatest mantra we can repeat during such times and often throughout the day.
This is not about me.
by Sensei | Oct 1, 2021 | Awareness, Journey, Mindful, Mindless
When was the last time you honestly were still?
How did it feel?
Were you anxious? Nervous?
Did you pick-up your phone or turn on the TV or find some other distraction?
Were you actually still?
Did you mind go into overdrive? Reliving the past? Rehearsing the conversation, you should have had?
Were you consumed with the future? That something could go wrong or what someone might say or if you would be accepted or liked?
Were you actually still?
When you have a minute – at work, inline at the grocery, at the doctor’s office, in traffic, at the coffee shop – do you pick up your phone and death-scroll?
If you are watching TV – do you channel flip or binge watch or use it for noise to work or sleep?
By still, I mean, were you ok with being with yourself without any entertainment or input – just being.
It’s in being, the still, that you can touch the deepest parts of your soul.
[more later…]
by Sensei | Sep 30, 2021 | Awareness, Journey, Mindless
“So, what do you do?”
How many times have you been asked that question?
And had the conversation devolve into a discussion that is nominally about the askers self-importance.
Yet, at the core of the question is a deeper question?
“What is my identity?”
Or rather, “Who am I?”
Are you your job or what you do? If it goes away, do you?
Are you your parents? Your family? Your schooling? Or training?
Maybe you’re your partner? Your kids?
Your religious affiliation or not?
Your political party or the other?
Maybe you don’t know how to be without your “you” identities…
Are you your successes or your failures?
Think of all the “yous” there are.
All the masks, all the actors you play and none of these are truly you!
And rarely if ever to you let anyone truly know you: the authentic you.
The you that is afraid: that you will not be liked or not be accepted or fill-in-your blank…
Why?
[to be continued…]
by Sensei | Sep 26, 2021 | Awareness, How to, Journal, Meditation, Mindless
Be honest, does your brain constantly chatter?
Sometimes, my brain does and it is so annoying.
However, these mind-loops are a rich source of information about your internal and emotional landscapes.
Especially those that are playing in the middle of the night or when you first wake. Which is another reason to meditate first thing in the morning.
Become curious of you mind-loops, observe them, when they come and when they go.
Become a student of your mind. Become aware…
Journal: In the coming week, try to capture, at least partly, the “mind loops,” the internal storm that is raging.
For each mind-loop write:
- A short description of each story.
- What kicked event started the mind-loop?
- What is the story behind the mind-loop?
- What is the emotion behind the mind-loop? Is it fear, ego, anger?
- What, if any, action can you take to resolve?
Often by awareness, observing, and analyzing, the lessor mind-loops will disappear.
If the mind-loops become overwhelming, try How to breathe and relax.
Focusing on your breath will temporarily stop the loop and help with managing your anxiety.
Those remaining are often deeper and maybe a reason to consider talking with a professional; especially, if they dominate your day and are a roadblock keeping you from being productive or keeping you from living life fully.
by Sensei | Sep 26, 2021 | Awareness, Journey, Mindless
Everything I’m going to say in this blog is not new. It has been said before in nearly every culture and religion, and in every way humanly possible.
If there is any “new” message it might be this: it is easier to seek, than to practice.
I, and likely you too, live in a culture that is always “selling” something new and improved, and often for sale and profits.
For example, mindfulness is nearly a billion-dollar business. The word “mindful” appears as a selling point on a seemingly endless list of books, magazines, videos, and even in this blog.
Mindfulness is not new, and, in fact, it is free.
It takes minutes to learn and a lifetime of practice.
Realize that a different teacher or new technique will not make you or I more mindful person.
Practicing a few mindful techniques will, overtime, yield the results.
I can hear you saying, “it hasn’t worked for me…”
My answer is simple, “Have you developed a consistent daily practice?”
Each of us must discover what works and yet, few continue with the practice.
I read recently, that positive brain changes are medically detectable in only 8-weeks after beginning meditation; and continued practice has a lifetime of benefits.
Too often many want an immediate benefit without the effort.
It’s a journey, practice is a journey. And along the way, you will discover the real you, the true you; not the editorial-self, the actor you, that you live every day.
The reward is the peace of knowing yourself; and, overtime, the potential to be okay with the you, accepting yourself, loving yourself, the self that you have been hiding from.
It just takes practice. It takes consistent daily practice.
