by Frank | Oct 18, 2021 | Journal, Journey, Meditation, Mindful, Mindless
A new friend explained why she was getting a divorce…
“I finally realized that I loved myself 30%,” she sighed, “and he only loved me 40%…and I couldn’t take the abuse anymore…”
I’ve meditated on this idea over the past months.
The truth was simple, her negative self-worth and her lack of self-love, along with many other self-limiting believes had “cheated” her into an abusive relationship.
In short, he loved her just a little more than she loved herself; and while it was enough to get started, it wasn’t enough to sustain her.
Maybe this story resonates with you? Maybe it’s your story too!
Maybe it’s not your partner, maybe it’s an abusive “friend” or a member of your “family” or another person in your life.
It’s taken decades to begin accepting myself, especially those broken and unwanted parts. I came to realize that lack of self-acceptance, self-worth, and self-love played a major role in all the relationships in my life.
Especially, the abusive and broken relationships.
The more I embrace all my parts; the more I have come to accept and be okay with the person I am.
It was this awareness, that the broken and unwanted me needs love too; that has allowed me to love myself more and from this love, embrace those broken parts of others.
It’s from my own self-acceptance that my self-worth has grown, and from this self-worth that my self-love has grown too; and, so my acceptance, worth and love of all those around me.
***
Journal and Meditation Practice
Spend time writing a list of those broken and unloved parts of you. Give yourself time to detail each.
Over the next month and without any rush; meditate on each, feel the emotions, and say “I love you too” as throughout the meditation.
Realize that all the parts of you, everything in your journey so far is what it has taken for your awareness to emerge.
In reality, these are not broken parts, these are lessons along your life’s journey; and it took those lessons to get you here.
by Sensei | Sep 26, 2021 | Awareness, How to, Journal, Meditation, Mindless
Be honest, does your brain constantly chatter?
Sometimes, my brain does and it is so annoying.
However, these mind-loops are a rich source of information about your internal and emotional landscapes.
Especially those that are playing in the middle of the night or when you first wake. Which is another reason to meditate first thing in the morning.
Become curious of you mind-loops, observe them, when they come and when they go.
Become a student of your mind. Become aware…
Journal: In the coming week, try to capture, at least partly, the “mind loops,” the internal storm that is raging.
For each mind-loop write:
- A short description of each story.
- What kicked event started the mind-loop?
- What is the story behind the mind-loop?
- What is the emotion behind the mind-loop? Is it fear, ego, anger?
- What, if any, action can you take to resolve?
Often by awareness, observing, and analyzing, the lessor mind-loops will disappear.
If the mind-loops become overwhelming, try How to breathe and relax.
Focusing on your breath will temporarily stop the loop and help with managing your anxiety.
Those remaining are often deeper and maybe a reason to consider talking with a professional; especially, if they dominate your day and are a roadblock keeping you from being productive or keeping you from living life fully.
by Sensei | Sep 8, 2021 | How to, Meditation, Mindful
Just breathe slowly for the first few moments without any rush.
Next, for a count of 5, slowly inhale through the nose, filling your lungs from the bottom upwards.
Then, for a count of 7, slowly exhale through the mouth.
Repeat for 20 cycles.
The goal is to make the exhale slightly longer than the inhale.
by Sensei | Sep 7, 2021 | How to, Meditation
Set aside at least 30-minutes and find a quiet place to reduce distractions; if all you have is 15 minutes, a coffee break, time for a quick snack – use that.
- Time – Give yourself some time where there is nothing you must do or nothing immediately next; 30 minutes should do, however, I would recommend no appointments for at least an hour away, since they are effectively another possible distraction.
- Paper – Get a pad of paper, your favorite pen – NO cellphones, NO tablets, and NO computers allowed.
- Place – Find a comfortable place where there are no distractions – it’s hard to find that at home or the office; so, you may want to try a few different places. Did I mention no cellphones, no laptops, no TVs, no other noise (if possible); “white-noise” is OK, if it doesn’t distract.
- Sit down – I recommend sitting, no specific posture at this point – although there are many benefits from sitting up straight.
- Breathe – Just sit down and breathe slowly for a few breaths – in through the nose and out through the mouth. Don’t worry about anything else right now. Just breathe slow.
- Write – If a thought comes to mind and stays there, write it down. As much or as little as feels right. Then begin again, breathe.
- Practice – repeat daily, if possible.
Give yourself about 5 to 10 minutes the 1st few times.
Don’t worry about meditating – there is no right way or wrong way – that is not the point (that will come later), practice will come later.
For now, just learn to get stuff, junk, to-dos, list, thoughts, baggage, what-ever out of your mind onto the paper: the parking lot.
Remember you are training your brain: meditation is training.
The benefits of meditation come through repetition and through practice.
Once you have mastered this practice over a minimum of a few weeks or a month, drop by the website for additional resources.
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