by Frank | Oct 18, 2021 | Journal, Journey, Meditation, Mindful, Mindless
A new friend explained why she was getting a divorce…
“I finally realized that I loved myself 30%,” she sighed, “and he only loved me 40%…and I couldn’t take the abuse anymore…”
I’ve meditated on this idea over the past months.
The truth was simple, her negative self-worth and her lack of self-love, along with many other self-limiting believes had “cheated” her into an abusive relationship.
In short, he loved her just a little more than she loved herself; and while it was enough to get started, it wasn’t enough to sustain her.
Maybe this story resonates with you? Maybe it’s your story too!
Maybe it’s not your partner, maybe it’s an abusive “friend” or a member of your “family” or another person in your life.
It’s taken decades to begin accepting myself, especially those broken and unwanted parts. I came to realize that lack of self-acceptance, self-worth, and self-love played a major role in all the relationships in my life.
Especially, the abusive and broken relationships.
The more I embrace all my parts; the more I have come to accept and be okay with the person I am.
It was this awareness, that the broken and unwanted me needs love too; that has allowed me to love myself more and from this love, embrace those broken parts of others.
It’s from my own self-acceptance that my self-worth has grown, and from this self-worth that my self-love has grown too; and, so my acceptance, worth and love of all those around me.
***
Journal and Meditation Practice
Spend time writing a list of those broken and unloved parts of you. Give yourself time to detail each.
Over the next month and without any rush; meditate on each, feel the emotions, and say “I love you too” as throughout the meditation.
Realize that all the parts of you, everything in your journey so far is what it has taken for your awareness to emerge.
In reality, these are not broken parts, these are lessons along your life’s journey; and it took those lessons to get you here.
by Sensei | Sep 26, 2021 | Awareness, How to, Journal, Meditation, Mindless
Be honest, does your brain constantly chatter?
Sometimes, my brain does and it is so annoying.
However, these mind-loops are a rich source of information about your internal and emotional landscapes.
Especially those that are playing in the middle of the night or when you first wake. Which is another reason to meditate first thing in the morning.
Become curious of you mind-loops, observe them, when they come and when they go.
Become a student of your mind. Become aware…
Journal: In the coming week, try to capture, at least partly, the “mind loops,” the internal storm that is raging.
For each mind-loop write:
- A short description of each story.
- What kicked event started the mind-loop?
- What is the story behind the mind-loop?
- What is the emotion behind the mind-loop? Is it fear, ego, anger?
- What, if any, action can you take to resolve?
Often by awareness, observing, and analyzing, the lessor mind-loops will disappear.
If the mind-loops become overwhelming, try How to breathe and relax.
Focusing on your breath will temporarily stop the loop and help with managing your anxiety.
Those remaining are often deeper and maybe a reason to consider talking with a professional; especially, if they dominate your day and are a roadblock keeping you from being productive or keeping you from living life fully.
by Sensei | Sep 26, 2021 | How to, Journal
A close friend and partner used this term years ago: editorial self. And at once I understood, a brief flash of light.
The editors-self is the you that everyone sees as you navigate your day.
It’s the you at home with your partner or rather who you want your partner to belief you are.
It’s the you at work, the you at church, the you with friends, the you at the store or restaurant, it the you …
There are so many “yous.”
So many masks, so many parts you play throughout the day.
You are an actor and the star of your own life.
Even if you show up as a minor actor, this is still the projection of your editorial-self.
And let’s be honest, many of these “yous” are fake and you resent having to play these roles.
If you are honest, you have spend too much time in the editorial-self and not enough time as your authentic-self.
Journal: In the coming week, try to capture all the “yous” there are in each day.
For each editorial-self, each version of you write:
- A short description of each version, each editorial-self.
- Why do you play this parts? Be specific about your fears, uncertainties, and doubts.
- How do you feel having act the part? Be specfiic and write all your feelings down.
- What is the barrier or reason why you are not being you?
- How would you feel if the editorial-self was closer to the real-self, the real-person, the authentic-self?
It is true that you may not always be able to be the authentic you.
Work and many social circumstances dictate acceptable norms, in these cases, become aware and intentful with your editorial-self.
Over a decade ago, I started to live closer to my authentic-self; and just as you might imagine it didn’t always work out as I had hoped; and I wasn’t always accepted and I have been the butt of jokes and discouraging comments.
However, I have lived more on my own terms, closer to my authentic-self; and understanding who and who didn’t accept me has helped me navigate my journey more authentically.
